Why I take pictures.

I've often rehearsed in my head the scenario of how it would all play out if my house caught on fire. Or an earthquake hit. Or I had to evacuate for some reason. Obviously without a doubt I would make sure my children and my husband were completely safe. And then I start the "if I could grab ONE other thing, what would it be?" game. (Safely, of course. I'm not risking my life here ...). And every time the answer is my photo albums. My boxes of pictures. Journals and scrapbooks. I would grab my external hard drive and box of photo CDs for all those pictures I haven't quite gotten around to printing yet (yeah ... I think I'll get on that now ...) and throw them on top. I would pile all of these things up and run with all my memories in tow.

I was recently talking on the phone to my mom and trying to express to her how deeply my passion for pictures runs. Pictures ARE my memories. I'm quite certain I'm a prime candidate for Alzheimer's. I'm constantly forgetting experiences I have had. Things I have done. Even places I have been. I have a sister with an absolutely fabulous memory and she often reminds me of stories I have shared with her of things my kids have said or I have done, and it is as if I am hearing these stories for the very first time. It's really tragic, actually. But I am quite certain that is the reason that I love photography so much. Because if I have a picture, I can remember. With complete clarity. I can remember my mood and the weather and the people around me and the sights and the smells and what I did before and after the picture was taken. But I HAVE to have that visual trigger to delve into that part of my memory.

Several years ago when my husband and I were on vacation ... and I was going crazy snapping photos every few seconds ... and he was getting a little tired of all of the pictures ... and very sweetly asking me when I was going to put the camera down and just enjoy the moment ... I realized something. Taking pictures for me IS the moment. That is how I experience things. I truly see life through a lens ~ whether it is physically in front of my eye or not. Of course, I also realized that as much fun as I might be having, it isn't always the same level of enjoyment for those that I am taking pictures of. And so I do put the camera down sometimes for their sake. But I also remind them how important the pictures are to me. Because I want to REMEMBER the moment. To truly be able to live it again over and over after the moment has passed. I don't want to forget the experiences I am having. (I also reminded my husband that particular time that he should be happy the only souvenirs I ever take home are those on my memory card ... so he should be grateful I wasn't spending money buying tacky knick knacks. He liked seeing it that way). They are very patient with me now. And I have learned their limit. And we all compromise as a family.

And so now when people tell me that I take more pictures than anyone they know ... and I hear that a lot ... I just smile. And say, "I know." And I do know. I know why.